Time

"They say when your about to die your whole life flashes before your eyes... Everything you were... everything you ever experienced. These scars are memories...symbols of who I am... What I've gone through. Sometimes I just look at them...just think about it... About how many years of bull life has put me through... How many times my heart has been broken... How many things I miss....... And then I realize... If I keep thinking about what I miss...I might never get it back."


I still wonder how it all started...maybe it was the Sunday evening...or maybe the beach...or maybe that September night!!! Aah...how does it matter anyways...the thing is that, it happened...and somewhere it has changed a little part of my soul...whether it is for better or worst i don't know...i can just wonder...i can just try to make it better...

The thing is that now matter how many times you are broken...the world doesn't stop to fix you...its your duty to puff up your chest and fight the odds...and i guess its time...time to understand what i do and why i do it...time to get up once again...time to move ahead...time to win back things...as i have realized...that if I keep thinking about what I miss...I might never get it back

PANDORA BOX

Sometimes I wonder what if I had not opened the Pandora box…what if I had not let the demons out of their devil kingdom…would things have been different!!! Would I have been happier!! I don’t know…confrontation with the truth has always been difficult for me…I try to avoid it….I try to create my own delusional world where I see reality the way I want it to be…kind of a looser theory but it works…at least it keeps me happy…the question is “for how long”… “Someone” (ahem..ahem!!) recently told me to follow the light of God and I’ll reach where ever I want…now I don’t know what that means…She also told me that I had a far greater destiny to fulfill…some astrology crap, which I don’t believe in…but there’s one thing she told that I remember… ‘Stop chasing…and maybe you’ll find what you need’…cool isn’t it!!! But one thing is for sure that facing the truth sucks…it sucks big time… ignorance is bliss and I want to remain ignorant for the rest of my life. Period.

P.S: clearly off topic, but I recently read somewhere that scientists are close to discovering a wormhole, the tunnel to the alternate universe. Maybe in that universe I have all that I wish for.

Woods of Dream

Beyond the blue mountains….

and murky clouds…

far away from the infected land…

and deep into the woods of my dream…

I call out your name…once again…

I whine for you…

I cry for you…

For we shall never be together again…

And I’ll die a lonely life…

Deep into the woods of my dream

P.S: sometimes i just hate the emotional me :/

Does God play dice!!!

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."
--Stephen Hawking

yes, I am back to the age old question that keeps daunting on me..."Free will versus Determinism"...so, is everything predetermined or do we have some kind of free will...I certainly am not a determinist...but I do have some faith in destiny... Sir Issac Newton who is considered the greatest physicist of all time was a determinist... he believed that all our actions are predetermined and we can do nothing to alter it... but according to Dr. Michio Kaku, co-founder of the string theory, reality is somewhat different...he believes that there is some free will in what we do...Newtonian Determinism says that the universe is a clock, a gigantic clock that’s wound up in the beginning of time and has been ticking ever since according to Newton’s laws of motion… So what you’re going to eat 10 years from now on January 1st has already been fixed… It’s already known using Newton’s laws of motion… Einstein believed in that... Einstein was a determinist…

Heisenberg then comes along and proposes the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle and says: “Nonsense. There is uncertainty... You don’t know where the electron is… It could be here, here or many places simultaneously.”...This of course Einstein hated because he said God doesn’t play dice with the universe… Well hey, get used to it… Einstein was wrong… God does play dice… Every time we look at an electron it moves… There is uncertainty with regards to the position of the electron…

So what does that mean for free will? It means in some sense we do have some kind of free will… No one can determine your future events given your past history… There is always the wildcard… There is always the possibility of uncertainty in whatever we do…

So when I look at myself in a mirror I say to myself what I'm looking at is not really me… It looks like me, but it’s not really me at all… It’s not me today now... It’s me a billionth of a second ago because it takes a billionth of a second for light to go from me to the mirror and back…Weird but true…

Sometimes...

Sometimes you just wanna believe a person, even when you know that the person is not as genuine as he/she is pretending to be...

Sometimes you just pretend to be ignorant, even when you know that the person, you trust, is lying straight into your face...

Sometimes you just pretend to be stupid, coz the person thinks he/she is smarter than you...

Sometimes you just wanna believe a story, even when you know that its just a "story"...

Sometimes you just give up everything for a person, even when you know that you are not gonna get anything in return...

Sometimes you just keep running, even when you know you are gonna finish last...

Sometimes you just keep smiling, even when you want to cry hard...

Sometimes you just keep believing, even when you know things are not going your way...

SOMETIMES....

People may think you are stupid...people may lie into your face...people may pretend to be angels...people may laugh at your back...people may take you for granted...but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...not because expect a favour in return...sometimes you act because you need to act

Toll of the Recess Bell

"How tired I am of this unbearable distance between us

How I long for the toll of the recess bell

Have you forgotten me?

Grown mindless of me?

Tell me I am not writing into an abyss

Or that is what will become of my heart…"

to LIVE or not to LIVE

She: “sometimes I think I don’t even know you…sometimes you seem like this totally different guy I don’t even know…there are times I see you smiling and laughing…throwing up random comments…mixed with your brilliant, at times weird,  sense of humor…laughing more to yourself than anyone else… “backchodi”…I guess this is what you call it in your Delhi’s language…right!!! and the very next moment…you are gone…you are quiet…suddenly you’ve become someone else…thinking profoundly about, I don’t know what…in brown study...all that recklessness and humor is gone…sometimes I think you are not living life…you are just spending it…”

***brief silence***

For a moment I was obfuscated...I looked at her in dismay…She wanted to speak more…but, for some unknown reasons, she didnt…maybe she read the grimace on my face

Hmmmm… Now where did all that come from!!!… I really don’t know…but yes, I agree… off lately I have become quieter than I used to be…but to hell with that tirade!!! And what is this so called funda of “you-are-not-living-your- life” by the way?? I mean what did she mean by I am not living my life!!! I wanted to ask her but thought its better to let it go… in verbal duel with girls, its better to give up or to stay quiet…I prefer the latter…suddenly i lothed her...and wanted to wriggle out of the situation

I paid for the coffee bill and came back home…but her words were still ringing in my ears “I think you are not living life…you are just spending it”… is she right??…am I not living life??…am I just spending my days sauntering on this planet in search of some greater truth?? Ennui engulfed me..That’s what beautiful girls do to your mind…they have some kinda unknown God gifted power  to manipulate with it…and usually I don’t give a shit about what other people say to me…kind of imperturable...but this time I, don’t why, I couldn’t resist keeping her thoughts out of my mind…what if she’s right!!! What if I am just spending my life rather than “living” it… the thing that’s bothering me the most is that I know the answer… yeah!!! I know she is right…I am not living my life…I don’t know the idea of living life but I do know that sleeping for 15 hours, having a breakfast or dinner  and solving 6-7 quants problem a day isn’t what you’d call a “life”…but who is she to tell me this!!! I wanted curse her…but deep down inside I knew she was right…

hmmm…so here I am typing this absurd post…at 3 am in the morning…half asleep, half tipsy…but the question that still lingers in my mind is- “to LIVE or not to LIVE”…I need to think something about it…err…sorry…I need to DO something about it…pretty soon!!! 

oh shit!! not again

hmmm...now i am seriously thinking about that "jinxed" thing...am i really jinxed!!! shit happens...i know...and it has happened again...the thing that I  feared the most and expected the least has happened...again...and that too on my b'day...and i have no one to blame but myself...yes, it was my fault...throughout...Maddie was right...he was always right...I always wait for the right moment...as if things will magically fell into place...but sad part is that there is no magic in real life...it only happens in book or Hogwarts...why am i like this?? all this experience is weighing me down...the problem must be in me...maybe i didn't push hard or may be i wasn't that confident or maybe i was scared of my decisions getting wrong...
anyways, such is life....the moment you think you have figured it out...it screws you...but you only learn from your mistakes...
all i can say is that, shit happens and life moves on!!!

p.s: i wont forget this b'day... ever!!

A letter to the God

Dear God,
It’s quite weird that I am writing a letter to you as you know I am an atheist…then, why am I writing a letter to someone who I believe doesn’t exist!!! Well, I don’t know the reason myself…maybe I am just too sick of talking with “real” people… or maybe because I don’t have anyone else to talk with me right now…whatever the reason, I am doing it….
I dunno where to start…its been a long time since we two have talked…I hope everything’s fine up there…I have never really written a letter to God before… My siblings used to write a letter to you when they were kid, praying for gifts or good marks or whatever they wanted…but, you know, I never did… although, I wasn’t an atheist then…I just didn’t like the idea of writing a letter to you just coz I wanted good grades or gifts…I believed I could get them myself… I just liked the idea of having faith in someone who nobody has ever seen…it was quite amazing…just like Harry Potter or Santa Clause…you know!!! Children like to believe in fantasies…

So, where did it all go wrong?? And why the heck did I break up with you?? I guess it was all just a part of growing up…coz slowly and steadily I began to realize that the stories that my grandma used to tell me about you were actually “stories”…my inquisitive mind started looking for the reasons… science told me that it’s the rotation of the earth that causes day and night not the seven horses of “Surya Devta”… it also alleges that it’s the Big Bang theory that created universe not you…(perils of growing, you see!!!) I guess, they are right…“ignorance is bliss”…and when my ignorance was lost I lost my faith in you…
But, now, I think I know why you exist…because you are another name of “faith”…faith, you see, is the most important ingredient for the existence life…without faith nothing can exist…neither science nor religion…people want to have faith in someone supreme…someone who they believe is more powerful than anyone else…and it’s the “faith” that gives them strength…I have seen that the people having strong faith deal with pain better than others… I still don’t believe in all those stories which I heard as a kid or the idols I see in temple … but I think there’s nothing wrong in having faith in “faith”… I am, kind of, liking the idea of having faith in some one again…even if that someone is as hypothetical as you…I tried it with “real” people but it sucks, as usual…most of them are crap…and sometimes I wonder why did you even create them…
So, as you have guessed it by now that it’s kind of a patch up letter… I hope you wont mind being friends again…and I know you wont coz you are so much like me...cant say NO to the ones you love
Hey, we are friends again…but it doesn’t mean that I am going to worship you or visit your temples…no formalities…we are gonna behave just like good friends do…I’ll just put up my problems in front of you…n you are gonna provide me the solutions :P …and if you have any problem, I’ll be more than happy to help you…

That’s all for today, sir…I’ll catch up with you some other day…tada 
Btw, I never really said this to you before but… thanx for creating me (if there was any role played by you in creating me)…it feels awesome to be me.
Goodnight

Your pal,
Shivam

Pyar Ke Side Effects

Though I never really had a break-up, (I was never really in a mutual relationship, so all my break ups were one sided), but I know the phases that follow a break-up…I've seen a lot of them

So here it is, for the rookies…the one’s who have never been in a relationship….mutual or otherwise…beware of “break-up”!!!!

Let’s see the phases that follow a break-up:

1)      the first few days are living hell…it seems like the sky has fallen and the world has come to an end…but as they say, this too shall pass away

2)      the next stage is called “mai sharabi hu”…yeah, you start scoring high on booze quotient…n nothing can stop you…u just try everything….beer, whisky, vodka, rum…whatever comes your way…so the bottomline is, ladki kuch kare na kare…she certainly contributes to your alcoholism :P

3)      when you have a break-up…you have all the time in the world to waste…n u utilize it to maximum…you watch movies, listen to some ultra sad songs, you sleep, you again watch movies, listen songs n again you go back to sleep…n the viscous circle continues…

4)      now, slowly and steadily you start believing that you can never get “her”…your sense enlightens…and you decide to live life to the fullest… you apparently start to enjoy life…you start studying hard to prove that you’re worth it…and ultimately it all ends pretty soon (c’mon how long can you fool yourself)

5)      Now this is a new one, “BREAK UP PARTY”!!! I have been to such parties…n believe me…its not that bad… (c’mon, free me khane ko mil raha hai, what else u want)

6)      Slowly and steadily you start mutating…you can either become a “joyless loner” and start living life in the dark or you become a “pervert swine” and start flirting with every single girl that comes your way…I’d prefer the later :P

7)      Next stage is called “coming-of-age”…you get to know your self like you had never known before…suddenly you realize the truth… you start believing you’ve had enough of love and want to do something important in life…you think you’ll be next Narayan Murthy or Bill Gates…n some actually end up being Mark Zuckerberg!!!!

8)      Finally, after all those epiphanies and self realization….something terrible happens…the moment you think you have figured it all…your life and your dreams, you find another girl…you fell in love…and sooner or later you break up…and this viscous circle starts all over again…

So…no matter how hard you try, you cant get out this pit once you’ve fallen in it…so, my advice is to stay away from this hell called relationship which ultimately leads to a break up…or you can always revert back to the “murphy’s law”, like I do :P

Free Will vs Destiny

Before you start reading, I just wanna ask one question…are you reading it on your free will or was it your destiny to read it???

Yup you are right… that’s the topic of this post… free will v/s destiny…I am a firm believer in free will…I have always believed that its our free will that drive us…that motivate us…that guides us to do things…its all about the free will… I mean who decides if I am gonna write this post!!! Its me…only me…I can continue to write it or I can just stop it here…but again, the question here is who’s gonna read it?? All I can do is write this stuff…that’s where my free will ends… I cant make sure that anyone’s gonna read it…o.k, now just for the sake, let’s assume that I persuade some of my friends to read it…but again I cant make them like it…its pretty uncertain if they’ll like it or they’ll despise it… and this unknown factor is what, I guess, people call destiny or luck… I am an atheist, and its pretty hard for me to believe in something unnatural… I don’t believe that something just happens…there gotta be some reason…and it’s the free will that makes “it” happen… unfortunately I cannot explain that unknown factor…but hell, I am sure there’s some reason behind it… I mean its pretty weird that we all are destined to do something in our life…but wouldn’t that be unfair!!!! If it was destined that somebody will die as a popper or if someone’s destined to be a king…if everything’s pre decided then what is the use of making an attempt or trying to get hold of something…you just need to sit there and it will come to you on its own, if it is in your destiny…I don’t believe that the nature is that unfair… it gives everyone equal chances to achieve their goals…some grab it…some don’t…yes I agree that maybe you’ll have to work harder than your peers to achieve the same things…that they got without any effort (say love, good looks or their father’s inheritance)…but in the end you can have it too, if you work hard…nature will provide you that prize, if you deserve it…now that’s bit ironical for me to speak coz I myself haven’t achieved something big in life…but I know that I haven’t made that effort either…I believe that I have wasted my talents and failed to push myself beyond the limits… there were times when gave up just when I was a step away from victory…and other times I was just sacred of success…I was afraid what that sudden success would do to me…hell, whatever the reason was I never actually used my free will to get what I wanted… I was dependent on luck… I was so sure that one day I would wake up and all my problems would just vanish away like this…I was waiting for a miracle…some kinda omen to show me the way… which obviously wasn’t there…

Maybe right now I am not making any sense to some of you… some of you might be thinking, who cares about free will or destiny…I just wanna live my life, but its one question that has fooled me for a long time now…and I guess I am gonna stick with free will

But still, its pretty hard to explain that “unkown factor”…and the supporters of destiny have their points to put as well… I guess, in the end its all about what you believe in…if it’s the destiny you believe in…or if it’s the free will you believe in…either of them can work for you…only if you believe

But seriously guys, do think about it…was it your free will to read this post or was it just your destiny???

THE HAPPINESS QUOTIENT

People say I talk negative… I write negative and maybe I dwell on negativity… and I agree no less…I mean I too am sick of writing those prosaic stuffs… writing those posts were meant to dump the shits out of my mind…a way to escape loneliness and boredom of life…but the more I tried to escape them the more I got strangled in the webs of life… alright!!! I agree that I have made some stupid decisions in my life…some real stupid and insane decisions… but hell, who doesn’t!!! That’s thing about the stupid decisions…everybody makes one…

And this time I am not gonna discuss about the theories of a jinxed life or about what more can get wrong in my life….no!!! this time I am just gonna relax and reflect back at the things that make me happy J

So here I go…

…I am happy whenever I pluck the strings of my guitar

…I am happy whenever I am with my friends (even with one good friend)…it’s like a blissful moment when I feel myself apart from all the worries and tensions of life…

…I am happy when I am with my family…

…I am happy whenever I solve a problem…either from my life or from my textbook

…I am happy whenever I read the story of a survivor…people who dared to think different and change the world…when the others thought they would end up as losers (Steve jobs, Lance Armstrong, Bill gates etc are some examples)

…I am happy whenever I walk in the rain…I love the drops of rain…it’s so reckless and free

…I am happy whenever I watch a good movie or listen to a good song

…I am happy whenever I see the sunrise (which obviously is a rare case…thanx to my abnormal sleeping habits)

…I am happy when I am drunk…coz then I DO things

…I am happy whenever I prove people wrong

…I am happy whenever I do things differently from others

…I am happy whenever I accomplish the job that I had set up to do

…I am happy whenever I am at my “bakchod” best… (ask my room mates) :P

…I am happy whenever I receive attention…yeah!!! I gotta admit it…I love attention ;)

…I am happy whenever I receiver “her” message…doesn’t matter if it’s a forwarded one

…I am happy whenever I break the rules

…and though it may seem strange….but I am happy when I am alone…not that I want to (I seriously hate lonliness) but it is the when I talk to myself and I get a chance to be real me

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I can go on and on and on… I mean there are millions of things that make me happy…so why not concentrate on the moments that make happy rather than those which make me sad… yeah!! That’s what I want to be…HAPPY…I won’t mind breaking rules…I wont mind getting drunk… I wont mind proving people wrong…I wont mind people calling me crazy or childish…n I wont mind being lonely… coz there’s nuthing wrong in doing or being anyone of them, if it makes me happy…

Wake me up when december ends!!!

Before I begin…let me tell you that its an another sad post…so if you don’t want to spoil your “happy happy” mood then please don’t read it…it might irritate you as to why I always write these kinda stuffs…so its for you to decide to read it or not.. and don’t blame me for putting these posts up coz I feel like writing only when I am sad… :X …whom am I saying this!!!...nobody reads my blog…(Shalini, you are an exception)

Enough gyan!!!

Life is  strange …… it has its own funny way of presenting things… things you never thought would happen in your life… things you  never thought you would do in million years…but they happen…and they change your life forever…

life never works according to the plan…it never has and it never will…everybody knows it…then why do we feel sad and depressed when our plans don’t work… strange it may sound but this is how life works… I am not complaining that it hasn’t worked for me again…its just that it always happens with me…and each time it hurts even more than before…I often wonder why its always me who is at the receiving end…Should I become numb to all emotions?? Am I a stupidly poignant person who just doesn’t know how to handle his feelings?? Am I an over desperate person?? Or may be I am just a jerk who is always at the wrong place at the wrong time!!!! Whatever,  I dunno… people often say that I am not mature enough that’s why I end up like in these situations… they say that I am still a kiddo… a child at heart… they think I am a callow…but I don’t think so… I mean yes…I do agree that my heart is a child…a part which refuses to grow up!!! but there’s a part of me that understand emotions and better than anyone else... there’s a part which is mature enough to understand people… a part that can read faces even with my eyes closed … a part which if, once, decides to achieve something, ends up achieving it… a part that nobody knows…a part that I don’t show to anyone… and those who know me well would know what I am talking about…

Nitish, my best buddy, always says that I don’t share my pains with anyone… I’ll just write some stupid blogs and grim poetries which nobody reads… I know a person reading this post wouldn’t agree but I am a very happy-go-lucky guy…always in that usual gala mood… but when it comes to that “sad version” of me, I myself don’t know as to why don’t share or tell anyone about my feelings…maybe this is why my pain intensifies…but, this is how I have always been…and I cant change overnight…but someday I will…I’ll have to… a lot of things has to be changed now…and I guess, I need the change…as I said, some incidents change your life forever… may be its the time to change mine…

And I know that my loved one’s will always be there for me…and for my support…and though there are only few people who really love and care for me…I don’t mind the number…as long as they love me…and it includes you too…if you have read this post till the end…coz only a loved one will put aside his ego and stand there beside you in spite of all your imperfections…in spite of all your failures… in spite of all your mistakes…

Thanx for bearing with me :) I hope that the change will bring good to me…

P.S: please don’t ask me the reasons for this post… you know, I won’t tell…

FLOWERS IN DECEMBER

Empty it was…empty it is…and perhaps, empty it shall be… yup!! I am talking about the month of December…I dunno how but somehow the month of December brings out the feeling vast emptiness that lies hidden, somewhere, within me… ironic and absurd it may sound but this emptiness kinda makes me feel complete… yeah, it does… and somehow I relate to this cold season more than anybody/anything else in the world… it reminds me of good old days, the shenanigans of life and more importantly, it reminds me of the stories that remained unfinished…
December....it truly is a magical month...at least for me 

Anyways, keeping this crap a little short, I wanna dedicate a song to the month of December and to the “stories that remained unfinished”…it’s called “Flowers in December” by Mazzy Star…i hope you will like it...njoy the song

FLOWERS IN DECEMBER

Before I let you down again,
I just want to see you in your eyes.
I wouldn't have taken everything out on you,
I only thought you could understand.

they say every man goes blind in his heart,
and they say everybody steals somebody's heart away.
and I got nothing more to say about it
nothing more than you would me.

send me your flowers of your december,
send me your dreams of your candied wine.
I've got just one thing I can't give you...
just one more thing of mine

they say every man goes blind in his heart
and they say everybody steals somebody's heart away
and I've been wondering why you let me down
and I've been taking it all for granted

P.S: no, I am not drunk…just feeling a bit high J

P.P.S: out of all the things that I am gonna leave behind... I’ll miss Delhi’s winter the most L

3x7

Another TAG!!!

In this one, there are 7 lists and you have to fill in three things in each one...the rules are as follows:

- Tag as many u want!

- Link their pages in your tag post

- Post a message / leave a comment screaming that they r tagged

- Mention the person who tagged you in your tag post, and link their blog.

- Write 3 X 7 things about yourself ..

3 places i would pack my travel bag for:

1). Any hill station: I just love hill stations…be it Dajeeling or Patnitop or Shimla...

2). Berlin: well, I am very interested in the Nazis and the World War 2 stuffs…

3). Cayman Islands: I have heard a lot about the place… and it’s said to have one of the most beautiful islands in the world

3 On-Screen characters i love to watch :

1). Barney Stinson: I love this character…he’s cool, witty, a womanizer,a top executive in a bank…in short he is everything I am not and everything that I wish to be J

2). Lizzie McGuire: Lizzie McGuire, played  by Hilary Duff, used to be my crush in high school… and I still love her :P

3). Al Pcino: Oh boy!! He is “The Godfather”… Al Pacino has immortalized his character of Michael Corleone… truly, he's the God of acting   

3 moods that describes me the best  :

1)      Happy Go Lucky: I am usually in a happy go lucky mood…

2)     Confused: I am perennially confused… right from deciding my dinner to the aim of my life… I am CONFUSED :P

3)      LAZY: I am Lazyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

                                                                     

3 things i always think of doing on a weekend... but never did:

1). “Saturday Night”: Me and my two other school pals once decided to meet every Saturday night… the idea was to get boozed out, have fun, forget all tensions and above all create some memories out of our nothing life in Delhi… however after having two night outs we never met on Saturday again!!!

2). Cleaning my room: I am lazyyyyy!!!!

3). Doing my assignments: I always think of doing my assignments on weekends but I always end up doing them a night before the final submission J

3 things from my childhood that i cant forget:

1)      First painting competition: well, it was way back in 1994… a painting competition was held in my city… I stood first and my name appeared in a local news paper and a local news channel… that was my first and, unfortunately, my last brush with fame

2)      My first ball dance: Magical… absolutely magical J J

3)      Almost expelled!!!: Well, it isn’t much of a childhood story… I was in class 12^th … and was almost expelled for a minor mischief (alright, alright… it was big…but not that big that you’d expel me from the school).… luckily my ass was saved and I was able to give my boards paper :P

3 things i would never say no to 

1). Maths

2).Guitar

3). A good novel

3 things i cant live without

1). Guitar

2). My family

3). Travelling

  

The hollow ME and the shallow YOU

(First thing first...I am writing a poetry after a long time...maybe a year or so...so please dont mind if it doesnt sound nice and I know that the lyrics are too grim...but kya karu...aadat se jo majboor hu...I cant help being cynical :P)


Silly dreams and plastic smiles,
Fake promises and hollow lies,
Someday I'll bring you back,
All that you left behind

Sad eyes and crimson scar
Oh baby! Our heaven is not too far
I'll bring you back from the cold
I'll bring you back from the dead

And together we'll walk in the rain,
In the darkness of hell,
We'll kiss again
In the kingdom of Bedlam
We'll rule again

To the end of the world I'll follow you
To the end of the days I'll call you
Someday we'll be together again
Someday I'll get you
The hollow ME and the shallow YOU

Tag # 5

Ten how’s:

1. How did you get one of your scars?

I got it while shaving

2.  How did you celebrate your last birthday? 

Don’t ask… it was pathetic… all my room mates were down with fever at the same time… I spent my b’day alone roaming in the streets L

3.  How are you feeling at this moment?

Sleepy

4.  How did your night go last night?

Good… solved some quants paper...watched an episode of How I Met…and then finally went o sleep

5. How did you do in high school? 

Quite good...I was the topper of my class :D

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? 

I got it from the Westside outlet in Lajpat Nagar

7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? 

I live with them

8. How much money did you spend last month? 

dunno…

9. How old do you want to be when you get married? 

30,  maybe....

10. How old will you be at your next birthday? 

Twenty one

Nine what’s:

1. Your mothers name? 

Shushma

2. What did you do last weekend?

Watched “Udaan” and “Inception”… went out shopping in Lajpat… spent some quality time with old pals :D

3. What is the most important part of your life? 

My family

4. What would you rather be doing? 

Playing guitar on my terrace 

5. What did you last cry over? 

Don’t remember

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? 

Listening to music…

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant othher?

Complete trust

8. What are you worried about? 

CAT

9. What did you have for breakfast? 

Chole Bhature

Eight you’s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? 

Yup!!! (i know what are you thinking...but men will be men :P)

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken?  

Loads of time L

3. Have you ever been out of the country? 

Yup!!

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? 

Yeaah!!

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? 

Nope!!!

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? 

No…but hell yeah! I’d love to do that :D

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? 

Nope… actually I have never been on any date

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? 

Nope!!

Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw? 

Harsh  (a friend of mine)

2. Who was the last person you texted? 

A friend.

3. Who was the last person you hung out with?

  Harsh

4. Who was the last person to call you? 

My sister

5. Who did you last hug? 

Mummy

6. Who is the last person who texted you? 

Parul …(a friend)

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

I have never told it to anyone... (I love you bolne ke pehle hi break up ho gaya :( 

Six where’s:

1. Where does your best friend(s) live?

With me

2. Where did you last go? 

To the oculist

3. Where did you last hang out? 

American center, CP

4. Where do you go to school? 

Not anymore…but it was in patna

.

5. Where is your favorite place to be? 

Patna

6. Where did you sleep last night? 

In my flat…

Five do’s:

1. Do you think anyone likes you? 

Yes…girls are crazy about me :P

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? 

Depends on my mood…but yeah!! I have wished it a lot of times 

3. Do you know the muffin man?

No… but in know the Momo man :D

4. Does the future scare you? 

Yup!!!

5. Do your parents know about your blog? 

Yup!!

Four why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? 

Because they are the only one who can bear me and my PJ's J

2. Why did you get into Blogging?

For recognition…lol…naaahh!! Just wanted a personal space for myself where I can throw out the shits from my head 

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? 

Actually my grandpa suggested this name

4. Why are you doing this survey? 

Because I liked this Tag

Three if’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be? 

I'd love to fly…and go where ever and whenever I want

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?

Only if I could….

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? 

Food…perhaps

Two would-you-ever’s:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? 

Only if I had one…

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? 

Certainly...without a doubt

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now?

I dunno…but am certainly not contend…. I want more ( a typical Leo)

The Change

They say... the only thing that's constant in life is the "change"...so why spoil "their" view... change we need and change we want

So, concerning that view... I am once again changing the name of my blog... I knw its bit lame like the previous ones... But I couldn't find a better one that defines my life... Happy Reading :P

The Photograph

(Off lately I have been posting some stupid and prosaic stuffs on my blog… and this post is just a reminder of the fact that I am going to continue with that: P)

Things change… people change… they are never supposed to be the same forever… and there are days …days which remind you those things, those moments and those people…  yeah, the days when you feel like taking out your old and dusty acoustic guitar and strumming it again… the days when feel like paddling your old and rusted bicycle back on road… and the days when you feel like picking up the phone and calling your long lost friend from school who had almost forgotten you… and there are days when you come across an old photograph, just by a chance, and your mind is flooded by the old memories…

Well,it was just an usual lazy Sunday afternoon… I was browsing through some old photographs when out of no where I found this…

(The picture was taken outside Sarojini Nagar reservation counter more than a year and a half ago…The picture itself has a long story behind it… and it led to many other… but more on that later )

So, where was I ?? yes, The first year in Delhi… the fights… the break up… recoincilation… the booze mishap…DreamBig…. B-4...the terrace…it all came back… those good old sanguine days…the time when ignorance was bliss… absolute bliss… you know what I mean!! … fresh out of school…and the innocence was still not lost…when the only thing you worried about was your marks…and the only thing that was broken were your  pencils…yeah, the same good old days when there was no sense of responsibility… and friends were just friends… when bunking a class was the most daring job and and drinking beer was considered a cardinal sin…

Well, the world was pretty  small then… it still is… but it wasn’t a matter of choice then

How can I forget those days… living away from family for the first time…doing all kinda crazy stuffs…it reminds me of a lot of things… the crazy January mornings…and the weird December nights when the three of us used to hangout till midnight…the first time I stayed awake for a whole night…(naah!! It wasn’t for study…was watching movies)…the first time I had a beer … and the first time I smoked…the crazy Vodka party where I kept puking through the whole night…it was hilarious… that tacit relationship of love… and how can I ever forget those “DreamBig” moments…and ironically it all seems like a dream now…

But as it turns out, it wasn’t all about sweet dream…there were some nightmares too… there are parts I hate to remember… the heartbreak… the hollow lies… the fights… and crying all night…and how I screwed up my INTERNALS…the exams…(I still regret those marks) *sigh*…

Yet the impression of being there and experiencing those indelible and ephemeral moments is something that words don’t seem enough to express it at all… something which can never be effaced… something which is immortal… and as I write this, a feeling of sheer nostalgia grips me

You know… somehow I miss those days… that innocence… that recklessness… that freedom… and above all… I miss that frienship… I miss that old me…I miss it… very much…  

Its strange… how a simple and old photograph can lead back you to so many stories and memories… that’s why I love browsing through my old photographs… but you know what’s the best thing about old photographs!!! Well, the best thing about them is that it always remains the same even if the persons in the picture changes… I wish they hadn’t…