DUNHILL DREAMS

Strange things happen when you take alcohol after a long time… naah!! This is my story…Strange things happen when I take alcohol after a long time…I just can’t handle the situation… I loose my mind… loose my capacity to reason…  I speak and do stupid stuffs… become verbose… in short it’s great!!! Coz sooner or later I realize that all the things I did while being high were not stupid…may be weird but not stupid…

I mean for a person like me, who thinks too much, alcohol is the only way to loose his mind… and when I loose my mind I stop thinking… and when I stop thinking I DO things… things I wouldn’t have dared to do with my sane mind… it makes me feel free, makes me pretend less and makes me feel like I can do anything…

It was one such night… I was alone in my apartment… all my room mates were in their home town…I was feeling lonely and all sorts of worry engulfed my mind… and then I did something which I usually don’t do when I am alone… I went to the market and got my self a pint of strong beer… now that was a stupid decision considering that I am quite sensitive to alcohol… I just cannot handle it… but then, I was alone and feeling scared and lonely… scared of what, I don’t know

And I remember it was exactly 6 p.m … I got the beer and drank the whole bottle one gulp…ok…fine… may be I am exaggerating a bit… but it was not more than 3-4 gulp that I finished the bottle… and the first thing I wanted to do after that was… to run to the bathroom and throw out… thankfully I didn’t throw out… I was like drinking beer after a gap of 6-7 months and my body certainly didn’t like it…

And after 20-25 mins I like completely lost my mind… i don’t exactly remember what I did next… since I was all by myself I don’t remember much… I just have a hazy picture of that evening in my mind… I remember that I went to an ATM and took out few bucks from my account… and then I went to some shop and bought my self a tee and a Calvin Klein jeans… next I remember I was in a restaurant… don’t exactly remember what I ate… and then  I was back in my apartment… I was holding a packet of Dunhill cigarettes in one hand and some chocolates in the other… and then I did… I did something very embarrassing… I removed off my clothes and went to the terrace… yeah you read it right…every single piece of cloth from  my body… it was dark and I was all into myself… and I didn’t care a bit if anyone saw me naked…seriously!! I did it… I know it’s cheap and pathetic thing to do…dunno what was goin through my mind at that time… but I did it… then I went to the terrace and took out a cigarette… I smoked some 3-4 cigarettes… (I don’t smoke… I hate it… but as I said, I lost my senses and capacity to reason…)… listenened to some rock music on my cell…and WHAM!!!... the next thing I remember was that it was 11 am, the next day, and I was on my bed (and thank God, this time with all my clothes on)…

I don’t remember how I came down and when I put my clothes on… I checked my cell phone… and the balance was nil… I had almost 50 bucks in my cell phone the night before… and it was all gone… I checked my records… and guess who I called!!!... HER!!! I don’t remember anything that I said her… I never asked her and she never told me… but must be something stupid… Ah!! Who knows…?

Next, I rushed to the ATM to check my balance… coz I remembered I had done something stupid with my ATM card… and as it turned out… my balance was Rs. 75…yeah, I spent some 1700 bucks in one night…

So, there I was… standing in the middle of the road… all broke and penniless with just Rs. 20 in my wallet … mind sick with hangover… head spinning with headache… and yet I was feeling happy… coz at that moment I was feeling free… no burden what so ever…I didn’t care if I’ll make it to the best MBA college… I didn’t care if I’ll earn six figure monthly salary… I didn’t care if I’ll make a girlfriend… I didn’t care at all about my fucked up college life… all I knew was that I am free… nobody can force things on me…nobody…not even my destiny…and even if it does, eventually I’ll make it out… and with slowly and heavy footsteps I started walking towards my apartment…only this time I was lighter than ever before…

P.S- you might be wondering why this post is called “Dunhill Dreams”… well, there’s a part of story that I skipped… I had a dream while I was having those Dunhill cigarettes… I don’t remember much… may be that was just a hallucination… but I saw something like a penthouse… Manhattan city… the sky scrapers… and a beautiful girl lying by my side… well, actually I do remember what I saw… but its all I am going to say to you… its not that I don’t want to say to you… but its just that I cant explain it in a blog… you have to be here with me to feel it

P.P.S- this blog is not an implication that beer can make you happy…it screws up your mind…its bad… but what I want to say is that if you want to be happy… feel free…its easy if you try… and you don’t need a beer to do it… all that you need is a spirited heart and a spirited mind and the world will be your oyster