The chilling cold of Delhi is here again…yes, its time for warm blankets, hot coffees, bonfire, sweaters n pullovers…as the mercury dips again…most of the people would complain…
But for me it’s the best time of the year…perhaps I connect to this season in my own way…
Winter season has always been the season of love for me…specially the month of December…for every time I see a leftover mug of coffee…every time I find myself lost in fog….everytime the chillness of wind shivers my spine…it transports me back to the time when nothing else mattered but the warmth of the love…kinda déjà vu..
If I clear the mist over my memories I could remember that it was way back in 2003 December (class VIIth)…when the love bug infected me for the first time…I still remember the cold morning of that December…when she stood before me for the first time…It was the most innocent cum beautiful face I had ever seen (gosh!! I was so stupid then)…the boy who neva got time to look up from his physics and chemistry book…felt something…something strange in his heart…perhaps it was for the first time in his life….n it felt fuckingly awesome…but winter season has its own side effects…n things didn’t work out…n my first December love ended without a beginning…I didn’t know then that there was more to come…
Now, its 2006… yes, three years since my first major heartbreak…(not to mention its December again)…it was class 11th n as usual I always found myself surrounded by four inch thick physics, chemistry n maths book…as u would have guessed life wasn’t fun then…now, I dunno how it happened n why it happened…but this time it certainly changed the whole of me…
I knew this gal for about three years ,though we seldom talked…but I neva thought that I’ll fall down for her…it was not the usual first sight love…nor the sudden breakout of emotions but a gradual development of feelings which went on to becum so intense that by the time it ended…it was too late to amend anything…that perhaps was the most fucked up part of my life…I took some bizarre decisions (like quitting engineering to study in delhi university, going against my parents wish ect. Ect.) …n even this time the things didn’t work out to be the way I wanted them to be…so even this December love ended miserably…
(P.S- this was the most painful one)
This time the year is 2008…my first year at Delhi…n just before the first season of “lets get screwed up” began….again it’s the same heartless December winter…this time I regret n I still wish that it didn’t happen…I broke many hearts…but is December ke mahine ko kaun samjhae…I fell down again…screwed my 1st year marks, became high on alcohol quotient, became reason for many wet eyes n above all I lost my faith in the shit called love…now I wish I wasn’t so desperate then…anyways, I don’t want to go deeper into this…the scar on heart is still fresh…
So as u see…December has brought a lot of love for me…(all being unsuccessful attempt)…n with it a lot of pain…
And as the another month of December approaches…I wonder will there be another twist in the tail, another turn of fate…..will there be another…..another December Rain…
8 comments:
well friend evrey thing is understandable but i cant understand why you quit engineering?? were you shocked that she didnt come to you and then you said okay i will not do good in life!!because this cant be a simle reason for you quitting engineering for a girl!you cant!!
do you think you were i love or just an attraction because love happens only once thats what i feel or that i think!i can be wrong in this explain..
and for this december be cautios...all the best
no no....you r getting it all wrong...i quit engg. for some different reasons...it was never coz of "her"...it wrote it down here just to show that how screwed up my life was at that time..that's it...
aur jahan tak pyar ki baat hai...i dunno what true love or attraction is...i felt something for "her"...the way i had never felt for any gal...i dont know the difference between love n attraction...if anybody knows it...then do lemme know...so that next time aur bhi careful rahoonga...
you dont stop loving someone...u just learn to live without them!!
hello miss or Mr Anonymous and Mr writer i am just trying to put some elbow grease to tell u something
as far as i fell or know there is no one in this world knows what the fuck true love is
can any one tell then plz,,, waiting for u i don't think love can only happen in life for one time
anonymous u know some time what happen i am telling u generally in case of 2nd love
we try to crush that bcoz what we think is yarr it cant happen to us again I already felt it ones
so we all think this is crap i cant happen to us agian.. and friend don't ever give a excuse to get
high for anything bcoz this most cripple excuse these shows our impuissance....
i think is most imp for us is our parent this i learn t from the girl whom i loved so much
and for the 2nd i am still in dilemma about that what ever it is i don't want to give a
thought over that ........... leave that in the hands of god i really want some people to be
happy ............... so friend what ever the reason to be sad just just find the clue to be happy in that ....
Lost in the filth of greed,
Somewhere the soul cries,
Chained in the bondage of desires,
Painfully and slowly it dies.
It dies every day,
It dies every night,
With every passing moment,
Lost in the darkness, it cries for some light.
Tied in the chains,
That it itself had forged,
Blinded by evil, driven by selfishness,
With no values left, innocence all torched.
hello Mr. anonymous may b the failure in your first love have made you a bit practical that your are now thinking of your family!!why does it always happen that one realizes it when he is ditched. and it is also true that you cannot explain this to anybody else ie you can not stop anybody else from falling in love(that may b an attraction) if i define love then it would b meaningless because i have never felt like that for any body you can call me a coward but that is true or may be this culd also b because i understood the correct meaning of love ie dedication without any question. if you love anybody you will never fell sad if it ever leave you must be many examples around you just you have to look to it...
well i must say u possess a brilliant ability to play wid words.bt i had a feelin of incompletion while reading ur blog;a bit hizzy.Only question im havin is "WHY ALL UR LUV ATTEMPS WERE UNSUCCESSFUL?"(NOT MENTIONED).bt its good to see u hopeful.SURLY DECEMBER RAIN WILL FALL ON U......
ITS RUDE,BRO.I THINK U SHUD HAV ANSD MY QUES INDEED!!!!!!!!!!
sorry for your late reply friend...i was busy elsewhere...
honestly speaking i myself dunno the answer to ur question... perhaps it wasnt the ryt tym for me...perhaps fates have something else in store for me... or perhaps i didnt give my best...whatever it is...i certainly dunno why all my love attempts were unsuccessful...
n thanx 4 ur wishes dude... even am hopeful 4 december rain to fall on me.. ;)
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