(...i did everything to avoid the rain but it just keeps pouring in... but this time wont run away... i'll soak in it...yeah i am ready this time...)
I BEGAN TO DRIFT AWAY
LISTENING TO THE SOUND OF FALLING RAIN
COULDN’T WAIT ANOTHER DAY
THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY
SAID MY GOODBYES AND NOW
THIS JOURNEY’S JUST BEGINNING
TIME TO MOVE ON AHEAD AND DRIVE
IT’S RAINING NOW
BUT I KNOW IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME
LET IT POUR
I’LL SOAK IT IN I’M READY THIS TIME
IT’S SO UNREAL
YET I KNEW IT ALL ALONG
I BELIVE YOU NOW
YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY A THING
NO MORE TEARS TO CRY
NO MORE NEED TO LIE
RIGHT NOW I’M LEAVING… FOR ME
SAID MY GOODBYES AND NOW
THIS JOURNEY’S JUST BEGINNING
TIME TO MOVE ON AHEAD AND DRIVE
IT’S RAINING NOW
BUT I KNOW IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME
LET IT POUR
I’LL SOAK IT IN THIS TIME
- DREAM OUT LOUD
INDIA
This is dedicated to my mother land - INDIA
The day I was born this country was born in me…yeah! I can feel it throbbing in my heart and running in my veins…I feel it with every breath of free air I take in… It is my land…my homeland…my motherland…
Every thing wrong with the country starts with me… I am responsible for everything that’s unjust with the system… I am responsible for the potholes not being made…I am responsible for the bribes being fed to the officials…I am responsible for the broken roads…I am responsible for the hollow promises made by the politicians… I am responsible for the corrupt system…I am responsible for every pending case in the court… I am everything that’s wrong with the country… it all starts with me and someday it will end with me…
I’ll wake up today…
I’ll rise today…I’ll fight today…I’ll bleed today…
This country is mine and only I can make right…
I’ll fight for everything that is mine…
I’ll bleed for everything that is right…
I’ll make it the golden bird it used to be…
I’ll be the face of India
And the world shall see…
I am India and India
JAI HIND
Oops!! I did it again…
So, after 20 years of intense research and hard work am finally able to extract out some weird but interesting facts about me…
1) I suck when I try to impress anyone…it never works… I always end up slipping on the red carpet :P
2) No matter what I do…how much I try, gals never find me amusing…they never fall foe me…its like there’s an invisible insulation between me and gals…WTF??
3) I hate loosing…be it games, studies, work or life…I just hate loosing…and even then I always end up on the loosing side…
4) I am a sadist and I find peace in solitude… people often complain I don’t call…I don’t send sms…but that’s how I am…I cant change
5) I am absolute absent minded…I always end up loosing something every now and then and it’s not until a week that I come to know about what I have lost…
6) Ditto with relationships…first I’ll loose it and then I’ll repent about it…I always make frangible relationships L
7) I always act without thinking about the consequences…no matter how prudent I try to be I always end up making hasty decision…and I never learn lesson from my mistakes…
8) I am heavily driven by my mood…I won’t do a shit until I feel like doing it…
9) I am the laziest piece of shit you’ll ever come across…its impossible to move my ass out of my bed for some work…specially on a cold January morning
10) I don’t start studying unless and until my ass is on fire…say a week before exams…and it doesn’t need a mention that I always get screwed in my exams..
….
….
….
420) I always waste my time writing 420 points about some stupid self discovery…when I know its total crap and wastage of time
P.S: I am really running out of ideas on my blog…I should rather spend my time studying CAT material…but then I cant help being cynical :P
Idiosyncrasies of a Jinxed life
Feeling really fucked up these days…things just refuse to go my way…as if ...as if destiny is plotting against me…why it’s always me …why it’s always me being punished for the sins I never committed…its like a series of scripted destiny and am trapped…unable to escape out of my jinxed life…
Say...
- The moment I landed my foot in
- It was not even one month since the incident that this time my lappie broke down…WTF again??? dunno how much it would cost me to repair it…(I still haven’t repaired it)…
- As if this was not enough…my tests for jaundice came positive… (10 times the normal value…sucked through the whole winter vacations)
- Meanwhile, our landlord told us to vacate the flat (sale, Saini teri to…#@$***…fuck you…burn in hell)…though we got a new one only to find that it has increased our monthly expenditure by 1500 bucks…
- And if you think this is it, then lemme tell u that picture abhi baki hai mere dost…the main villain was INTERNALS…I screwed it big time…and when I say big time I mean it…it was disastrous…it was tragedy…10 sleepless nights+ chilly mornings + spending 50 bucks daily on auto = total waste…I let myself down…once again…
well, there are several other trivial issues am not mentioning …but am sure that it aint over... dunno what else is left to see.... arrrrrggghhhhhhh!!!! Am feeling jinxed :(
SUGAR BLUES..
This is in found memory of soaring price of sugar...which has left my monthly accounts in tatter...
Sugar @ 50 bucks/kg…It really sucks…thanx to our honble union agriculture minister Mr. Sharad Pawar that he is catapulting the credit card culture in India
Imagine the situation in a grocery store….
Common man: “bhaiya, 3 kg cheeni dena”
Shopkeeper: “3 kg….150 rs. hue”
Common man: “ 150???? WTF”
Shop keeper: “ credit card de do…sab yahi kar rahe hai”
Common man: “credit card bhul gaya
On a serious note, Mr. Pawar requested the States to reduce Value Added Tax and other taxes on imported sugar as well as the high mandi taxes on food grain arrivals in mandis. High taxes on essentials were adding to the high prices of food items…
Chal jo bhi hai, at least it will solve the diabetes and calorie problem of lots of Indians…
Cheers to the price rise. :P
Life!!
well, am trying to be positive these days... and even if there is no sunshine in my clouded life I am still ready to wait for it... let's see what life brings up to me...
So, its been almost one and a half year since I came to Delhi…n I admit that I have no damn idea about what I have done during this time period…when I look back…it all seems so hazy and diminished…first year of graduation ( though I screwd it big time)… spending myriad time roaming in the streets of Chandni Chowk…booze party on terrace…bunking classes… jamming guitar on terrace…the December Love…phew!! it may sound trivial…but has become a special part of my life…
…that life isn’t about running all the time. It’s not about how many people call you and how many SMS’s you receive… it’s not about who you’ve dated or haven’t dated at all…its not about how many girlfriend you made or how many hearts you broke… It isn’t about losing virginity or whom you've kissed…or which guy or girl likes you…. It’s not about your shoes or your hair or what brand you wear…and sometimes it’s not even about grades or colleges that accept you or not…naaah!!! Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Sometimes life just isn’t about that…
Sometimes, life is just about who you love and who you hurt… It’s about how you feel about yourself and others…it’s about how good a friend you are… It’s about trust…. It’s about what you say and what you mean... It’s about seeing people for who they are and not what they have…. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else’s in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise…it’s the choices we make that define our life…
TAGGED!!!
O.k. so…I was tagged by Shalini (thank u… at least it proves that somebody reads my blog…lol)
Here I go….
1. What is your current obsession?
My guitar… actually its been my obsession from a very long time…
2. What are you wearing today?
Jacket, sweater, a shirt, pajamas n my undies (I guess am specific enuf!!)
3. What’s for dinner?
Daal- roti (yuks!!)
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Ticket to my hometown (yup! Going home on 20th… yuppie!!)
5. What are you listening to right now?
Everything you want (Vertical Horizon)
Electric blue (Carnberries)
6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Shalini: hmmm…. Dunno much about her except that she loves football n surprise parties : P (besides reading my blog ..lol )
7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Any hill station in the world
8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
T- shirt and jeans
9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Shimla (I’ve been longing to go to that place for a very long time)
10. Which language do you want to learn?
Jitna aata hai kaafi hai…I don’t want to learn any more…
11. What’s your favourite quote?
“I have miles to go and promises to keep before I sleep”
12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Mummy
13. What is your favourite colour?
Black
14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
3 tips!!!
1)………………………………….
2)…………………………………
3) never ask Mr. Shivam for styling tips… serious wastage of time
15. What is your dream job?
Kkk..this one’s difficult…I have some very weird ideas …I don’t think I can engage myself in one kinda job… I mean there is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to create music, a part that wants to see the world, a part that wants to study, a part that wants to paint….so, forcing myself in one kinda activity would kill off large parts off me…
Anyways, honestly speaking, I want to be in a guitarist…
16. What’s your favorite magazine?
Duh!!! I don’t have any…I read any random stuff that comes my way…
17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Shimla trip…I mentioned above
18. What do you consider a fashion faux pass?
Refer to question no. 14
19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Raakhi Sawant (I hate her more than any one else in the world)
20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
I don’t give a shit about my hair cut…no matter what I do its always long and ragged…
21. What are you going to do after this?
Study, perhaps…lol
22. What are your favourite movies?
Shawshank Redemption, Into the Wild, Titanic, Pursuit of happiness, 3 Idiots
23. What inspires you?
When ever things don’t work out my way
24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Usually, Shivam (others I cant mention on this blog)
25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Coffee
26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Slam on my guitar n listen to the most heavy metal song…
27. What makes you go wild?
A really really fhaadu rock performance
28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
All that I am following
29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Gulab jamun … (I just cant get over them)
30. How many tabs are turned on in ur
4
31. Favorite Season?
No doubt, its winter…December being my favorite month (read my blog “December Love” for more information)
32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Duh!! The challenge is not what I’d cook…but would you dare eat what I cook!!! It takes more than courage to eat the food cooked by me…
33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
fuck ‘em up…they don’t exist
34. What are you afraid of the most?
Snakes…they scare the shit outta me
35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"hmmm… I really need a shave”
36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Whenever I play a tune on my guitar…
37. When was the last time you had a crush and on whom?
Just a month ago on Kirsten Stewart
38. When was the last time you met your school friends?
I live with them, yaar
39. What would you do if you were made President of India
Remove the quota system (I hate it…its injustice, isn’t it!!)
40. When was the last time you stuck to your New Year resolution?
This year only “I’ll not regret my any decision and I’ll stop dwelling on my past”
41. Your favourite novel and author
The Catcher in the Rye
The Inheritance of Loss (Kiran Desai)
42. If u get a chance to meet any person from history, who would it be?
42. If u get a chance to meet any person from history, who would it be?
Swami Vivekanand (he might have the answers to my eternal questions)
I tag:
Shalabh Bhaiya (no one else is left to be tagged)
B-4 (revisited)
well, i posted this blog months ago...but on a special request i am posting it again...
this is in the fond memory of B-4 (i'll miss you!!)
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STATUTORY WARNING: enter at your own risk
In the suburbs of Malviya Nagar, New Delhi…there is place where the most weird creatures on this planet live…far away from the harsh reality of life, living in their own dreamy world…are five idiots (who were never meant to live together) sharing their life under one roof…n if you are so stupid to guess it by now…lemme tell u that am talking about my dwelling place…
If u want to score high on booze quotient, want to listen to the most illogical philosophy on life, want to escape from the dark realities of life, B-4 is the place to be….( u are a real dumbass if u haven’t guessed it by now that B-4 is my flat no.)…but before u decide to come here I must warn u that you’ll come here as a normal human being but may return fully demented…so first have some idea about what kinda people live here..
Let’s start with character sketch of the five most bakchod n useless people of Delhi…
SAM: don’t confuse with the name…he ain’t that chocolaty… he’ll come across you as the most cocky and pervicacious person in the first meeting…eyes protruding out of his satanic face as if he might charge you down any moment…lol..but that’s the misconception that people have about him…in fact he is the most benign character of B-4…a die hard fan of F.M music…saala, har waqt F.M hi sunta rehta hai…its the wormhole to his cockaigne ( his dreamland, to put it in simpler words)…as I said B-4 me saare DAY DREAMERS hi rehte hai…all in all a sweet cum arrogant cum stubborn cum lovable guy…
P.S: don’t ever try to prove him wrong, sureshot wastage of energy…he’ll never accept his mistake…
MADDY: he is the munshi of our flat(looks after the accounts book)…a die hard fan of Lord Voldemort…n prefers to be called The Dark Lord…which is partially true as well..(he is dark n lord of bakchodi)… always tries to be politically and diplomatically correct…perspicacious in taking any kinda decision… though he is genetically related to Sam (cousin bro)… there is nothing common between them…I know him for about 12 years or so…n he hasn’t changed much since then…a great companion to share secrets…Fu**, its all I know abut him…
P.S: not to be trusted for monetary work….serious loss of money.
TROY: naaah!!! He isn’t Troy Bolton…just pleaded me to keep his name as Troy in my blog..lol..(neways, whose gonna read this stupid blog!!)…the sweetest boy of our flat…in fact, he’s more of a gamine than a teenage lad…has got more (girl) friends than any other teenager living in our close proximity…has got a mellifluous voice and is quite flexible with his vocal cords…
NITISH: He is Mr. Nautanki of our group…always up for some prank…insanely in love with movies…sala sara din lappie par movie dekhta rehta hai…dunno how he manages to pass his exams…gals often find him amusing…never misses a moment to flirt with a girl…a sports freak…has got that extra juice of adrenaline which keeps him overcharged all the time… most understanding of all…(the very fact that he has beared me for last one years is the proof of it)…always ready to help you…
P.S: not to be trusted for any assignment or other academic works…might piss u off with his careless behavior…
MIGHTY GURU: well, that would be me…people also know me as Shivam….most insane n useless of all…an avid reader, music n movie buff…
Insanely in love with his guitar…n dreams to be a guitarist someday…wants to travel the whole world…par saali jeb hi dhoka de jati hai…
A sadist, an atheist, a verbose, cocky, parsimony n most selfish of all…trying to imbibe all the characters of a good manager…lol…apotheosis of bakchodi…has got a lot of ego problem n loves to be alone…guy to be avoided the most…
P.S: try to read between the lines and you’ll find he ain’t that bad..
So, this is the story of B-4…an asylum for all the random souls…if u still dare to come here...u are most welcome...n if u have any problem with what I have written above…I don’t give a shit…. go fuck in hell!!!!
BYE….
FUCKING STORY
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well, I found it written somewhere…so I thought to share it with you…
NOT VULGARITY BUT KNOWLEDGEABLE….
So, the story goes like this….In ancient England
When the king approved their request…they were given a card while having sex. It read “FORNICATION UNDER CONSENT OF KING”…
Thus the word “FUCK” came into existence....
Now, I don’t know how far it is true…but at least its a cool theory to hang with…
P.S: Hmmmm… why don’t they teach these damn facts in school… history class would have been so much better… ;)
PPS: wont be blogging for next 10 days or so coz of my my fuc*ing internals... i dunno a shit as to how am gonna perform there...plz plz wish me luck...
Confession and redemption…
Its time for some confessions and redemption
****************************************************************************
Maddie (my roomie) once told me…. “hum log wo kutte hai jo car ke peeche tab tak bhagte hai jab tak car chal rahi hoti hai… car ke rukte hi hum dum daba kar bhag jate hai”…harsh it may sound but it’s true!! He was right…He was damn right…
I see myself as the same dog…chasing dreams set by others for me…just coz I don’t have the guts to believe in mine…even when life throws an opportunity to follow my dream I try to run away from it…I try to escape from it…I’d agree to the fact that I am an escapist…
Say…
What should I do MBA for??? Money?? Six figure monthly income??
Why shouldn’t I do something I like!!! Something creative…something which doesn’t follow any rule nor has boundaries… Like…like writing poetries and stories, playing guitar, traveling around places….why??
The reason is simple…I don’t have guts to follow my dreams…its not that I was different before…I have always been like these… I don’t remember any moment in my life where I had guts to listen to my heart (except for the moment when I decided to quit engg. And even that decision seems wrong now)…I have always been afraid of taking decisions… coz I fear its wrong….I have always been prudent while making promises… coz I fear I’ll break them… I have always kept myself from delving into any strong relationship…be it friendship or love…coz I fear I’ll loose them… I have lived my life in constant fear of loosing things…
And even if I do things I like am always skeptical about them as to what would people think about me… would they appreciate me!!!…even as I write this blog am skeptical about my abilities…my problem is that I care too much..
Why should I write this blog? To please others or to please myself??
And why should I pour out my problems on internet?? Do I hope for an answer?? Does it matter?? Waise bhi, nobody reads my stupid blog…so what’s the purpose of writing this??
Actually, I myself dunno what I want from life…
What i do know is that I have not lived my life I should have lived it…and I guess, its time for redemption now…
But the million dollar question is, where does the salvation lie?? What should be my approach now??
Does anybody hold my answer??
What If...
Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance I wanna grow up once again…..
Have you ever wondered what would it be like traveling back in time and get a chance to grow up once again…and what if you could turn back time and return to those sunny days once again…what if you could relive those “special moments” of your life once again…and may be make few amends and turn back things the way you always wanted them to be!!!
What if!!!
As another New Year approaches (there’s still 10 mins left)…I try to reflect back upon my past…and I realize that my past is haunted by two words…what if!!
What if I had lived my life according to my values and not by the rules set by others!!
What if I had chosen to be a bit more confident or maybe a bit more prudent!!
What if I had the courage to propose her rather than holding it to my heart!!
What if I had listen to my parents and had gone for engg.!!
What if I had been a bit more loyal friend!!
well, he list of "what if" is very long…I cant put it all over here…but it seems I have too many regrets from my past…regrets that seem to grow with time…regrets for the mistakes I made…
But, wait a minute…who am I to judge if those decisions were mistakes!!…I mean who guarantees that, had I gone the other way round things would have been better for me??
May be its already better for me…may be I am unable to look beyond imperfections…
People make all sorts of weird resolutions on New Year eve (quitting cigarettes, decreasing the waist size etc etc)…and I guess its time for me to make mine…
So here I go…
“From now onwards I’ll never regret my any decision and I’ll stop dwelling on my past”
Aur waise bhi. I guess there’s something in life which does not deserve change… some wounds are better left unhealed…some memories are better left untouched… some stories are better left unheard…coz its these little things that matter in life…and it’s this unpredictability of life which makes it exciting… make your mistakes yaar…and who knows what started off as a mistake might end up being the best decision of your life…
N guess what!!!
Its 00:00 hrs, 1st jan….
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
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